Dear Larry,
I have a bio test tomorrow and I still don’t know what osmosis is. What should I do?!
From,
Panicked
Dear Panicked,
Take it from me, biology is impossible. Save your sanity. As someone who passed bio with crawling colors, I suggest you put extra effort into your homework to counteract the test grade. Though, I doubt that will be much help.
Xoxo,
Larry
Dear Larry,
A ninth-grader in my class keeps stealing my* seat. It is very upsetting to me. I need help!
From,
Annoyed Junior
*The seat I sat in on the first day and henceforth claimed as mine for the year
Dear Annoyed Junior,
Listen to my words closely. It is survival of the fittest out here. You need to learn how to do a full sprint through the MSL without flattening anyone. Though, if people are in your way, by all means, run them over. You are at war. Let nothing stop you on your quest to get to your seat first.
Not so sincerely,
Larry
Dear Larry,
I keep getting cuts when I am literally in my seat at chapel!! What should I do?
From,
Irritated
Dear, Irritated
Maybe dye your hair? Or maybe have a highlighter clothing phase. It is really hard to distinguish who someone is when there are 400 other people in the chapel. So make yourself distinguishable.
Best,
Larry
Dear Larry,
I’m in love with a senior, but I’m a freshman. What should I do?
From,
Conflicted
Dear Conflicted,
Follow your heart I guess. Or don’t. (Er just avoid doing anything illegal.)
Concerned,
Larry
Dear Larry,
I HAVE TWO PAPERS, A TEST, THREE QUIZZES, AND A JV BASKETBALL GAME DUE TOMORROW. I AM PANICKED, STRESSED, CONFUSED, AND UNPREPARED. Please help :(
From,
Overly Emotional Sophomore
Dear Overly Emotional Sophomore,
𝓭𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝔀𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻 <3
Xx Larry