Dear Larry,

I did like nothing this summer except binge watch every show on Netflix and occasionally go outside for the sake of being human. This doesn’t seem to look good to the college admission officers though– what should I do?!?!


A Cry For Help

Hello there,

Don’t stress yourself out too much. It’s already in the past, so you should look ahead instead. Also, college is really about what fits best for you. Maybe you’ll find a college that specializes in chilling and really take advantage of a $60,000 education by majoring in communications so that you can spend class time watching ads :). Jk, hard work pays off no matter what you decide!

Best wishes,



My dearest Larry,

I’ve found myself with this horrible hope that the new freshies are being tortured in bio. How do I manage this immoral thought, which is also the source of all happiness for me? Mwahaha, I feel evil.



Hello Bio-Lover,

It’s very considerate of you to be thinking what the freshmen are going through. Too bad the ones who are taking chemistry are missing out on all this fun. Also, you should know better. You aren’t an upperclassman yet, so don’t rush with all the hazing.

Slightly concerned,



Ummm… Larry?

I’m a new freshie and at a total loss. The pit is often crowded and everyone seems to have everything figured out. Reading this section hasn’t lifted my doubts either. Need I mention the intimidation when seeing a senior?



Hi there,

First things first, ignore everything above. It’s just a coping mechanism that we use to help us make high school a more memorable experience. Second, make friends with upperclassmen. This way, you can get a seat at the other tables while also having a person look out for you. As for the seniors, you just got to deal with it. It’s a mental struggle, but why don’t you get some of your friends to form a little cult support group?

P.S. Honestly speaking, once the seniors are gone, everything else will seem less intimidating and fall into place.

Good luck,