The heated debate over which school water fountain reigns supreme has returned. Students across campus have been spotted avoiding certain water fountains entirely, citing flavors ranging from "mildly metallic” to “purely of toilet essence”. Hydration is serious business, and so is taste. After all, water is essential for survival — and personally, it is my favorite beverage. It only makes sense that our school should provide water worth drinking. It is time we take this seriously–by ranking the fountains.
Despite only being a Concord Academy student for a short time, I have tried nearly every water fountain on campus, and can confidently say that the Bevi machine comes first. The new Bevi machine in the Stu-Fac is a modern marvel, offering still, flavored, and even sparkling water. Its water is so clean and refreshing that I often find myself hogging it between classes. Unsurprisingly, students treat it like a pilgrimage site, lining up with their empty cups, desperate for a sip of salvation.
Second is a tie between the black water dispenser in the Language hall, near the CCO office, and the second-floor fountain in the SHAC. The one in the Language hall tastes mildly of grass at the end of each gulp, yet remains impressively clean. Moreover, it is strategically placed, which adds to its charm. Corrine Chen’27 claims, “ [It’s the best because] you can choose between hot and cold water.” The SHAC water fountain places very similarly. The water is always so cold and sharp, like clear sherbet. Joy Xu ’26 agrees, saying, “The water is so good, so refreshing, and so crisp”.
Last and certainly least comes the Labs’ fountain, a true abomination of hydration. The water tastes metallic, gooey, and unmistakably reminiscent of toilet water. The water stinks up freshly washed water bottles, and its fetid scent certainly stays for another ten years. Some students even claim that the disgusting flavor lingers from freshman-year pig dissections. I advise you a hundred times not to drink from it.
Students are divided when it comes to which fountain deserves the top spot. Some love the new machines, some stick to the old ones in the hallway, and a few brave people claim the Lab's fountain “isn’t that bad.” The great water fountain debate will not end anytime soon, and conflicts will erupt daily to name the taste. Maybe one day all fountains will run the same, but until then, choose your fountain wisely. Your taste buds will thank you.